Sharing Our World with Nacel Open Door    Monthly Newsletter for Families, Students, and Representatives           April/ May Final Edition for the 2006-2007 School Year

Sometimes students also say a special farewell by leaving behind a gift for the household or a hidden note to be discovered at some later date. One student left an expression of affection which she had penned on a sliver of cardboard and tacked to a closet door:

A month after students leave, most families find that they are beginning to return to normal. Generally, they are able to resume their routines, re-establish comfortable schedules and interact as a family without intense feelings of loss.    Just when things start to settle down, however, the mail carrier may deliver the first letter from your former exchange student and again you might feel the turmoil.     As parents often find that defining their relationship with a newly-married son or daughter may take time, you might discover that it takes several months and deliberate effort to establish a sort of amiable but distant “absentee friendship” with your former exchange student. It’s not easy, but once you can let go of needing the relationship to continue, you can begin to savor the experience you had.

Preparing to go...

Some students have open tickets on their return flights.  Making the reservation is usually very easy. Just call the airline and have your ticket in front of you when you call. Remember too, that many airlines have restrictions on how many bags you can take, and weight limits.    On International flights, you may take two carry ons, and one checked bag, or two checked bags and one carry on. Checked bag limit for most airlines is 70 lbs.    Other students have their tickets in hand. Please call the airline and make sure that your flight numbers and times are correct. In other words, you need to confirm your reservations.

I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one. I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles. When days are gone, I’d like to leave an echo, whispering softly down the ways, of happy times and laughing times. I’d like the tears of those who grieve to dry before the sun, as happy memories linger on when days are gone.

TIme to say Good-Bye

The hosting experience does not come to an end when you say goodbye, you don’t just drive home from the airport and resume your normal life. There are feelings to be acknowledged, new routines to be considered and a relationship with your former exchange student which will need defining. All this takes time and work.   Families often experience a period of mourning which may continue for several days or weeks. One person might appear sad and uncommunicative, while others might abound with nervous energy and worried thoughts like “I do hope Paulo made his connecting flight in  Atlanta,” or “Maria must be back in Venezuela now. I wonder if her boyfriend came to meet her at the airport.”

Saying that final good bye is never easy. No matter how thoroughly we review what’s been gained, no matter how much we communicate to a student that the experience has been exceedingly special and rewarding, those last few hours are filled with intense emotion that words alone cannot adequately express.      In order to express symbolically what words alone cannot, some families give their student a farewell gift on the last day-perhaps a locket, a hand knitted sweater or a framed family photo.      One family has developed the custom of giving their student a symbolic house key on which they inscribe a special message. Another family prepares a thoughtful letter and quietly slips it into their student’s pocket before he boards the plane.

Just think of how your student has bloomed during this year! The incredible changes in your student from when they first arrived until now. You have made a huge difference in their life!

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